Of Twilight and Themed Parties
by CrimsonAzureRose
Summary: Yami is obsessed with Twilight. Seto isn't. For the lovely Toxic Hathor.


Yami. Seto. A themed costume party. Seto obviously doesn't want to go.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Twilight. Please don't sue me.

Warnings: Twilight bashing…I thinks. Lots of Bella bashing. I apologise if you like the books/movies. It was not my intention to anger anyone. I must also mention that this might be a rather amateurish venture. It's probably really bad, so tell me how I could improve. That would be much appreciated.

Dedications: This is dedicated to the wonderful **Toxic Hathor.** She really dislikes Twilight, so I had to write this. (P.S: Please don't kill me, Hathor)

He was whining. He didn't think he had it in him. He'd never had to do it before; he could always get what he wanted with a snap of his fingers. But now…now, he was… whining. One could call almost call it begging. Almost.

"Just put the damn shirt on, Seto."

_No, you can just go straight to hell._

"But I don't want to, Yami…" Oh, the depths he had to sink to. Whining! He thought he had more pride than that.

"Seto," he warned. "We talked about this. Your outfit isn't that bad. You should see Yugi's wig then you can complain."

_Frankly, I don't even want to see the bloody wig. I don't even want to leave the house._

"What wig? Do they make wigs that are able to cover his hair?"

_It would be funny though._

"We'll just go see aibou for a couple of hours, and then we'll come right back here. I promise. I'll even make it up to you."

Seto pulled on the longed sleeve white shirt and the navy blue t-shirt on top of it. He had to admit though; it looked pretty good with his dark blue jeans. He wasn't one for casual clothes and he felt oddly…naked without his trench coat.

"But, Yami… I don't want to pretend to be a 119 year old virgin."

"Seto, everyone knows you're far from a virgin. They've heard us on more than one occasion, you know…"

"Whatever. Why do you have to go as a girl then? What was her name? Pecan?

"I have to go as _Bella_ because _you_ are going as Edward. You can't blame me for wanting us to be couple when we're…role playing."

"Fine, but if that mutt says anything, I'm leaving but only because you wouldn't want me to hit him," he said as him looked at himself in the mirror.

He turned to admire Yami behind him. He was dressed in an old pair of jeans and a plaid shirt that seemed entirely too large for him. Seto didn't like the fact that Yami was wearing dark brown contacts. His eyes were too beautiful for that. But he wisely decided not to say anything. Yami got scary when it came to dressing up. Seto himself was wearing amber coloured contacts. He didn't even know they made this colour. It was quite…digusting really. Like melted butter…but in his eyes.

The drive to the Game Shop was tense to say the least. Seto was driving slowly and Mokuba was worried. He knew his big brother never drove slowly. Ever. He liked to push his cars to the limits. 'Otherwise,' he reasoned, 'what was the use of having them?' Mokuba was too scared to ask what was wrong. When Seto got that look in his eyes, you knew not to mess with him. Yami, however, was grinning. When he had _that_ look in his eyes, you knew something bad was going to happen. Most often to Seto himself. Mokuba was quite sure the looks were connected. They always were…

_Yami was grinning again. Seto had that __expression, the one that said, 'If anything happens to me now, something __very__ bad will happen to you…and your family…and maybe your pet puppy too, depending on my mood.' Mokuba was caught in-between. _

"NO!"

Mokuba was pulled out of rambling thoughts by Yami's shout of terror.

"Yami, what's wrong?" Seto screamed as the brakes of the car screeched.

"Seto! We have to go back to the mansion. _Immediately,_" Yami had a terrified look on his face. Mokuba decided to stay out of it.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"I forgot the glitter!" Yami moaned.

Seto looked horrified at the thought.

"Glitter…For what?"

"Seto, you know Edward is supposed to sparkle! I have to get your glitter before we get to the Game Shop!"

"Wait! The glitter's for me?"

"Obviously. Bella is human, therefore, I don't have to sparkle. _Edward_, is a vampire and he sparkles in the sunlight," Yami looked tired, as if he had explained this one too many times before.

"Oh no. I already agreed to go to this god forsaken party. I am NOT wearing glitter. It's so…undignified."

Mokuba burst out laughing. He was picturing a sparkly Seto. Oh the humanity…

"Why doesn't Mokuba have to wear glitter?" Seto was whining again.

"Mike is human too, so he doesn't have to sparkle. Turn this damn car around and get the bloody glitter, Seto!" Yami was getting mad. You wouldn't like him when he's mad…

Seto smirked, "No." Then he did something he never thought he'd have to do.

He sped towards the Game Shop. He raced. He pushed the car to limits he never thought it would be able to go to.

_If I get to the Game Shop before he's able to stop me, he won't be able to make me go back to the mansion because he'__ll want to see his aibou. _

They reached the Game Shop in record time and Mokuba was still snickering. Yami was pouting and Seto was too scared to look because he knew that if he did, he'd drive all the way back to the mansion for the damn _glitter. _

Yami knocked on the door, though Seto didn't know why. He practically lived their anyway. Yugi opened the door and to Seto's disappointment, he wasn't wearing a wig. He did however have similar contacts to Seto's own.

Yugi giggled, "Bella! You're here! And you managed to convince your Edward to how up. And don't you look dashing, Mokuba."

Yami smiled, Seto glared and Mokuba blushed. They were all invited in and Mokuba walked off towards the snack table, whilst Yami pulled Seto in some random direction.

"Ok, Seto. I'm gonna introduce you to everyone," Yami looked excited for some reason.

"I already know all these idiots. I agreed to come to your party. I am _not _socialising with those incompetent fools."

Yami just ignored it. He learnt to just tune out Seto's insults after a while. The technique came in handy quite often. He pulled Seto over to the group.

"Hey guys," Yami grinned, Seto glared.

Yugi decided to pipe up at that moment to save the group from Seto's death glares, "Yami and Kaiba decided to come as Bella and Edward."

"They do look very convincing," Mai added.

Yami took over from there, "Seto, Yugi is playing Jasper Hale. Jasper is married to Alice Cullen who is portrayed by Tea."

Tea giggled. Seto could only guess that she liked being married to a midget…

Yami continued, "Mai is dressed as Rosalie Hale. You don't look very different, Mai."

Mai smiled, "Well, I'm supposed to be a hot blonde. I couldn't really change _that _much."

Yami grinned, "Joey is Emmett Cullen, Rosalie's husband."

Seto snorted.

"You got something to say, moneybags?"

Before Seto could respond, Yami cut him off, as if he didn't hear the comment at all, "Tristan is Doctor Carlisle Cullen and Serenity is his wife, Esme."

Joey burst out, "Wait, those two are married? Why didn't you mention this Tristan?" He Joey then proceeded to capture Tristan in a headlock.

This was of course, ignored. Yami searched for Duke, who wasn't in the circle. When he found him, he led Seto over and 'introduced' them.

"Dukey here is Jacob Black. Or he just wanted to walk around shirtless."

"Aw, come on, Yami. The ladies love Jacob…" Duke said.

"They love Edward more!" Yami competed.

"Team Jacob!"

"Team Edward!"

Seto didn't know what was going on, so he just left Yami to tough it out with Duke.

Fifteen minutes turned to an hour. This turned to two. Seto really needed some booze. Or better yet – coffee. Seto started wandering the house in search of coffee. It was probably the cheap kind but he was getting desperate…

He found something that resembled a kitchen. He couldn't really be sure, their were lots of boxes…

He started opening cupboards to find his treasure.

_No. No. Not that one. Nope. Did I just say 'nope'? I really need the damn coffee. Come on. Come on. Bingo! Cof…fee._

He found a jar of coffee and…a book behind it. Hiding books behind the coffee… Wow. But who and why?

He looked at the cover. Twilight.

_Oh, this is the book Yami was talking about. Maybe I should__ see what all the fuss is about. Or maybe I shouldn't. It has sparkling vampires, so it must have been hidden for a good reason. But a few pages couldn't hurt._

He opened the book and started reading.

*I'd never given much thought to how I would die - *

Seto was glad no one was near him at the moment. He kept flinching every few seconds. He just got to the part where Yami…Bella ran out because she thought that Edward believed she smelt bad.

_What. The. Fuck? _

He stood up straight, walked to the living room and promptly threw the book into the heartily roaring fire. The fire seemed to dull a little after that. Even the darn fire didn't want…

Yami raced over, "Seto, what did you do that for?"

Everyone eyes were on them.

"That book is evil, Yami. I don't want you to ever read it again."

"But Seto -"

"EVIL."

"Why? What happened?" 

"What happened? What _fucking_ happened? She ran out of the fucking classroom because she thought that he thought she smelt bad! What the fucking hell is that about. Seriously?"

People were staring in wonder. Mokuba was giggling. Tea looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Why doesn't she just use some fucking perfume or deodorant? Or even some _soap and fucking water! _She's such a fucking idiot."

Tea promptly stood up and ran out of the room. Yugi was tempted to follow her. Slightly. But watching these two was so much fun… Yami, who was quiet through Seto's whole rant flinched when he heard Seto call his name.

"Yami, how could you even compare yourself to that…_thing?_ How could you compare_ me_ to that 119 year old virgin? I don't understand. I just don't understand…"

Yami finally found and opening and took it, "Well, I only went as Bella because you're Edward. And you're Edward because I think you two have a lot in common."

Seto visibly flinched, "We do NOT. I'm not a fucking virgin and I do NOT sparkle."

Joey laughed but was instantly silenced with a glare from Kaiba. Those things are really scary.

"I know. I know, Seto. I was talking about the other things. You're both cold. For Edward it's literal, for you it's just metaphorical but still. Both of you are geniuses.

Both of you are _completely, utterly, indescribably_ hot. Both of you can only digest liquids. He only drinks blood. You only drink coffee, for some reason. Each of you is 100% loyal to your family and would do anything for the ones you love. Not to mention, you both look sexy in blue…"

Yami looked up and almost smiled. Almost because when he looked Seto was on the phone. He wasn't listening to Yami at all…

"Yes, yes, that's what I said. Didn't you fucking hear me?" Seto was shouting at someone on his cellphone. That wasn't knew. Yami was staring at Seto but Seto wasn't paying any attention whatsoever.

"Hmmm? Ok, see you tomorrow," Seto hung up the phone.

Yami was gaping like a fish, "Did you just ignore my whole speech for a phone call?"

"No baby, no. I heard everything you said. And I decided to do something about his ridiculous situation."

"Do something? Do something like what? Yami was almost too scared to find out.

"I'm suing the woman that wrote these books," Seto looked pleased.

Yami fainted. Well, not really. But he looked like he wanted to, "Wha…why?"

"Since whatsisname and I are so much alike, I'm suing her. She based a character off of me without my permission."

That was when Yami fainted.

Seto picked up Yami easily and started walking towards the door.

"Mokuba, I assume you're staying here for the night?"

He just nodded, unable to speak.

"Yami and I will take our leave now. Enjoy the rest of your party," Seto looked too happy. His eyes were filled with…glee. It was just _so_ wrong.

_This night turned out quite well, I think…_

…The End…

I had such a headache writing this. Twilight parodies are just too… I won't even say it… And the whole suing the author thing, well, can you even do that? I don't think that would be a good idea…


End file.
